I haven’t blogged for a while, been a bit under the weather with a cold and change of meds.
It’s amazing when you’ve got a terminal diagnosis how you can get anxious about the slightest change in your body. So am I wearing glasses now because I have a brain tumour, or because I’m 50 and come from a a family of glasses wearers. Am I losing my hearing or do they need to be de waxed (apparently they did) Is the numbness in my hand most mornings because of the BT or because I’ve slept on my hands?
When I was officially diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety back in 2012, I was a day patient 5 days a week for a few months at my local priory. I was also put on quite strong meds, which I’m still on today. But, I remember getting really anxious when I got what I thought were terrible side effects. It took my good friend Dr Adam to remind me. Liam if it looks like a cold, feels like a cold then there is a high possibility it’s a ducking cold. He’s still my good friend. But I often use his wise words to this day. I must remember to thank him.
Just one more thing, we live in pretty depressing, well I mean very depressing times. I’m 50 now and what we are living through now with the threat of nuclear armageddon was the full on anxiety (common theme) of my teenage years. I’m worried now that I’m leaving the world in exactly the same place for my teenage children
On a more a positive note . Social media especially twitter gets a very bad press and yes it can be home to some hideous individuals and even States. But it can also be a place of community and support, I’ve got close friends I’ve never met in the Brain Tumour community and extended terminal diagnosis community. They offer such hope and inspiration, we tragically lose people but those who remain are always there for each other
And to finish on a final personal positive note, yesterday I sent out a random tweet about, yes being terminal ill and it being a bore as I’m listening to Billy Bragg sat in the cabin with the sun on my face when the man himself sent this back…..I first saw Billy in Wolverhampton in 1987, to say this gave me a lift is an understatement.